A coach once told me, you can ignore reality all you want, but you can’t ignore the consequence of ignoring reality.
Now, this Ayn Rand quote has become quite ubiquitous in the self-development community. It basically means that people really need to stop fooling themselves if they want to make any real progress in life.
People will consciously disregard the objective truth if it isn’t convenient to their agenda. If the truth doesn’t work for them, they think they will be happier creating their own truth.
I understand, sometimes the truth can be a very bitter pill to swallow. Sometimes it takes a real hard painful look at yourself to figure out what's really going on.
But personally, I don’t know about you, I’d prefer to know the truth, even if it hurt me. At least with the truth, I could make some meaningful decisions.
So, with all this in mind. I want to discuss a topic that I know will be triggering for some. Other people who have done similar videos and posts on this topic have come under intense criticism. Some have even been de-platformed.
Perhaps it was their less than diplomatic delivery that triggered people. And I get it. This is a really touchy subject that needs to be handled with kid gloves.
But, regardless of what their particular intentions were, I’m too old to be stirring shit. Being sensationalistic and inflammatory for the sake of attention seems a bad way to get your point across if you genuinely want to help people because people tend to ignore you if you piss them off.
But there are women out there who are confused as hell about what men, in general, expect from them. On one side, they’re being told to stop being lazy and selfish and instead be a productive member of society and stop expecting men to look after them. On the other side, men are saying they should focus on staying home and looking after the children.
Guys are saying that women who wear makeup are false advertising, they’re basically lying about the way they physically look. However, other guys are saying that a woman who cares about preserving her beauty is extremely feminine and sexy.
So, you can see how women are getting confused here. And with that in mind, I want to share with you the 9 things that I think men should expect from women.
I know some of these may sound a tad harsh and, in this time of female empowerment and equality, some of what I’m about to say may directly conflict with what you’ve been told that you should act by the mainstream media and such.
You can obviously do whatever you want, but what I hope is that you at least have an open mind about this. My intention is to help instead of harm.
So, if you really want to know what a high quality guy expects from you in a relationship, stay tuned…
Now, before we get into the 9 things that men should expect from women, I think it’s important to establish what women are currently being told that men want.
Similar to how women giving dating advice to men is going to be generally coloured, especially in these times, by the air of female empowerment and gender equality, so too will their advice to women on what guys SHOULD expect from women.
There are a lot of female dating coaches out there who are ignoring what men naturally want and expect from a woman, and are instead trying to force their own expectations upon men. More to the point, they WISH that men expected this from women.
For example, let's have a look at the tips that a popular FEMALE CENTRIC publication gives. This is what they say a man wants from a woman:
Now, I’m not going to say that the advice they have given is patently incorrect. It’s not. Yes, I do want a woman who I’m compatible with and I’m attracted to. But there’s an “airy fairy-ness around it”.
But they’re sugar-coating the truth, they’re trying to make it sound like the things that he wants actually align with the things that you, as a woman should naturally want too.
But to the women out there watching this video, if you really want to know what a high quality guy expects, like, you actually want the truth instead of a bunch of sugar-coated ambiguity, then these are the things that guys really expect from you:
If there’s one thing men hate, it’s drama. We don’t expect you to be as financially well off as we are, but we expect you to not be drowning in debt.
Yes, I’m here to support you, emotionally, mentally and even financially sometimes, and I understand that relationships have their highs and lows, but I am not here to fix your problems. I cannot solve your insecurities. You have to put the work in to solve them yourself.
Which leads very nicely into No. 2…
I did a whole video of this subject not long ago. We expect you to own your decisions, your good ones and your bad ones. We understand that we all make mistakes. But taking responsibility for those mistakes is the first step to ensuring that they don’t happen over and over again.
Like I said in my video, if you take responsibility for your actions, if you honestly and deeply own your mistakes from the past and we can see you are making a concerted effort to extinguish the demons from your past, then we’ll be there to support you.
But if you are always crying victim, if you are always looking to push the blame of your misfortunes onto someone else, then we are OUT!
To love yourself, your body and your mind. We expect you to have a healthy relationship with your body and to respect what you allow to be put inside of your body, in every aspect.
And we expect you to have integrity. To mean it when you say something. That means your body can’t be bought, no matter how much money someone throws at you. You understand that self-respect doesn’t have a monetary value attached to it. It is something that money cannot buy, it must be earned through how you act and how you treat yourself. Through how you contribute to the world in a meaningful manner.
Sure, you need some masculine energy to survive in this world, much like men need to embrace their feminine energy sometimes when we need to get along with others, but if you can concentrate on being mostly feminine then we can concentrate on being mostly masculine.
Understand you have an equally important role to play in society as a man, but it is a different role.
And it's ok to admit your hypergamy. There’s nothing wrong with that. It is fine to be attracted to tall handsome, financially successful men, in the same vein that it’s totally fine for men to be attracted to physically healthy-looking women. There’s this push by society to try to brainwash us all to ignore our natural instincts. Women shouldn’t want a masculine centred man to look after her, she can do it all by herself! This message that is being spread by feminists is damaging women, it is making them miserable.
I understand, in this day and age it is a struggle for a lot of women to find a masculine centred man, but if women could just admit that that is what they actually wanted, instead of constantly telling men to be more sensitive and talk about their feelings and all the things that emasculate men, then men could focus on being men and women could focus on being women.
And we expect you to value the male contribution. We like taking care of you when we feel like our efforts are genuinely appreciated. What we don’t like is being told that everything we’ve done. The safety, comfort and convenience we have created with all the technology we’ve invented, that was wrong and if women were in charge from the start, they could’ve done it better.
This woulda-coulda-shoulda attitude that seems to be all-pervasive in our culture these days, where men are being forced to apologise for merely being masculine, this has got to stop.
I understand that masculine energy can manifest into violent aggression, and when you’re physically smaller and weaker than men, that can be terrifying. However, that same energy, when used productively, is capable of amazing things. It’s created medicine, transport, space exploration, the internet.
Without masculine energy, without drive, ambition, overcoming challenges, we would have none of this, you wouldn’t be able to even watch this stupid video. And all we’d like, in response, is just a “thank you” every now and then.
Is the system that we created perfect? Of course not. There can always be improvements. But saying that everything that the patriarchy has done to get us to where we are now was born from evil and selfishness, disrespects the countless male sacrifices that have been made.
And quite frankly, if you have this attitude, that men's intent all along was evil in nature, and had nothing to do with attempting to create a safer, less chaotic world for all of us to live in, well why don’t you go fuck off into the jungle and see how much you like that instead.
This one sort of ties in with number one. But I’ve met several girls who are in their late 20’s and had absolutely no discernible skills whatsoever. I’m not just talking about marketable skills like accounting or artistry or whatever, I’m talking about no skills at anything. They can’t cook, clean, vacuum, do the dishes, drive a car, swim, All they knew how to do was shop. That’s it.
I used to sit there asking myself “what the hell have these people been doing for the past 27 years? They were children living in an adults body. They had taken the concept of wanting a man to look after them to the absolute extremes. They were entirely dependent on another adult for their survival, just like a child.
Being submissive in a relationship does not mean being useless. Uselessness and helplessness are not attractive. If your only valuable asset is your physical beauty, then expect to be traded in when that asset loses value. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.
Become more than just your looks.
Understand that men are very simple creatures. When we want something, we say we want it. We are very direct. There’s very little subtext in our communication. Be aware of this when you communicate with us.
When you send a 3-page text message describing how you felt confused and insecure about the relationship because we didn’t respond to something exactly the way you’d hoped we would, it confuses the hell out of us. We’re not going to get what you’re trying to say to us.
We’re not being thoughtless and inconsiderate. We just can’t decipher what you really want. Unless you tell us directly what you want, we are going to think everything is fine. Please be mindful of this.
This seems like it should be a given, but these days, women are being encouraged to almost be overtly cruel to men.
Our current culture seems obsessed with portraying men as bumbling idiots who only have sex on the brain. If you, as a woman absorb and embrace this message, it’s likely to make you want to lash out aggressively at men.
If men have failed you personally in the past, if, for example, you have been the victim of domestic abuse, then my heart goes out to you, it honestly does. Nobody should have to put up with abuse.
But that does not mean that all men are abusive. It does not mean that all men only have sex on the brain.
When a man approaches you and you’re not interested, that is not the time to flex your ego. I know it can be a tempting opportunity to assert your position in society by cruelly dismissing an unattractive guy for having the gall to think he ever had a chance with you, but please, if you’re going to reject him, do it with kindness. Understand the courage it took for that guy to approach you, a complete stranger. If you reject him harshly, he will learn to resent women, and this cycle of tit for tat will go on and on…
I expect you to have a healthy relationship with your relationships. To not be insecure. If I disappear for a couple of days I don’t want you calling me going are we ok, is everything ok? Everything is ok, but if you keep doing that, everything won’t be.
I expect you to feel connected, confident and comfortable in a relationship if that is what I’m giving to you. And I expect you to have independence within the relationship. We are two separate entities having a shared experience together. You do not complete me, nor should I complete you. We are both whole, and we bring our wholeness to the relationship so we can give unconditionally.
We should be a compliment to one another's life, not a necessity.
You should not have other men orbiting in the background. This is not because I’m insecure. This is because it’s disrespectful to the relationship. I already know that if I have chosen to be with you, then there are more than likely to be other men who would want to be with you too. But I don’t need that rubbed in my face.
This comes back to #6, not playing games. If you feel like you are becoming dissatisfied in the relationship, then tell me why. Conflict within a relationship is natural and confrontation doesn’t have to be a drama. If you tell me openly and honestly what is going on in your heart, then I will never be upset with you. However, trying to make me jealous is just going to piss me off.
So that’s it! I think this list is pretty reasonable. And the other thing is that, if you look at all the things that I’ve mentioned, even if you completely don’t want anything to do with men and you don’t want to be in a relationship, most of what I’ve said still applies.
Even if you’re not considering partnering with a man, if you’re honestly happy being single, have a secure attachment style, being kind to others, having good communication skills are still valuable in your situation.
But I personally think men and women are stronger when they work together and unfortunately there are powerful forces out there who seem to be intent on driving a wedge between us.
It’s my hope that, with videos like this one, we can learn what men and women truthfully and honestly need and expect from one another, without all the PC bullshit getting in the way...