Are all women really solipsistic? Do all women REALLY only think of themselves?
No. There you go, there’s the simple answer to that frankly ridiculous question. If that’s all you wanted to know you can go back to doing whatever you were doing before if you want now. Bye!
But seriously, that is the charge levelled at women by some influential members of the “manosphere”. “Woman are all solipsistic”. But what do these people actually mean when they say that?
Given that, I’ve only ever known the philosophical definition of solipsism, this used to confuse the hell out of me. “All women think they’re the only thing that exists? What the hell?”.
Well, it is VERY important to be aware that the reason why some people believe that all women are solipsistic is that the Red Pill has literally changed the very definition of solipsism.
Just let me explain…
So, to begin, I think we first need to consider what solipsism originally meant.
Solipsism is the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist. It is a philosophical idea that holds that, from the perspective of the self, the only thing that one can be sure of existing is one's mind. Everything else could potentially just be a projection of one's mind.
However, as I stated before, in certain corners of the Red Pill Community there is this strong belief that “all women are solipsistic”. So, What do they mean?
Well, what has happened is that the definition of solipsism has been changed by the red pill community to align more with narcissism.
In a nutshell, the difference between the philosophical definition and the red-pilled definition of solipsism is that the philosophical definition states that “the self is all that EXISTS”, whereas the red-pilled definition states that “the self is all that MATTERS”. And that latter red pill definition sounds a lot like narcissism to me…
For example, to demonstrate what I mean, Incels Wiki discusses female solipsism like this:
“Female solipsism refers to the phenomenon of some women living in their own world and expecting that others can read their minds. Female solipsism appears to be caused when nice guys avoid criticizing women as this would interfere with their sexual advances or when men want to avoid making women cry as they are often cute looking and more likely cry when receiving criticism. As such, solipsism is a neotenous trait.”
“Solipsistic women tend to be entitled, narcissist and tend to have a greatly diminished capacity for self-reflection, objective reasoning and recognizing the truth. The term "solipsism" traditionally refers to the philosophical concept that the self is the only consciousness in the universe. Writers in the manosphere adapted this idea and coined the modern usage of the term to imply that women see the universe as revolving around themselves and their reproductive and material interests.”
Furthermore, often this infamous quote by Hillary Clinton is used to demonstrate the apparent solipsistic nature of all women:
“Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat. Women often have to flee from the only homes they have ever known. Women are often the refugees from conflict and sometimes, more frequently in today’s warfare, victims. Women are often left with the responsibility, alone, of raising the children.” – Hillary Clinton
So, I’m not sure what Hillary Clinton was smoking that day when she said those words, but I would definitely say that her words align with solipsism as the red pill defines it.
So yes, women can act solipsistic, as the red pill defines it. There’s no denying that. But, using that definition, men can be solipsistic too, I know many men who act like they don’t have any empathy for others.
But then you’ve got to act yourself, especially if you consider yourself to be a thinking man, where has all this come from? How did it ever get to the state where a reasonably large proportion of all men now believe that women are all narcissistic?
Well, you know, I was listening to a meditation channel the other day and the narrator was talking about boundaries and how to set them. Initially, I thought “fine, setting firm boundaries with other people is a very healthy thing to do”. Being able to say “no” to people is actually an act of self-care. I get that and I totally agree.
I think there’s plenty of us, including myself, who could say that we’ve suffered at the hands of a loved one’s undiagnosed emotional and mental trauma, so it’s something that I’m personally very proud to see society as a whole beginning to prioritise mental health.
However, as with everything new, and this culture of embracing the importance of mental health is indeed something new, there are going to be teething problems until the culture, as a whole, becomes better practised at what mental health really means collectively.
The unforeseen byproduct of this growing awareness of mental and emotional health seems to be that this idea of setting boundaries as an act of self-care has been perverted by some to be almost permission to act narcissistically.
People go “I’ve been hurt in the past, I’ve been made to feel worthless, but nobodies gonna make me feel like that ever again, no way!”, and they have such a strong emotional attachment to this idea of never being treated badly again, that they end up overcorrecting.
They end up acting almost narcissistic. Sugar babies are a perfect example of this, and we’ll talk about this more later.
I agree, it is always important to consider your own needs. However, I believe it is also important to consider the needs of others as well. We live in a society where we all rely on each another to conduct ourselves in a certain way for society to function properly. And I think that in recent times this consideration of the needs of others, to think of the needs of the community as a whole as well as our personal relationship with it, that’s been eroded.
Who’s fault is it that that’s happened? Who knows. Perhaps it’s a combination of the media deifying sociopathic and narcissistic personalities and the fact that our minds weren’t built to deal with living in communities of millions of people, whatever the reason, I consider that the current problem that people have these days of considering the needs of others to be not nearly as important as their own needs to be a teething problem. Collectively, we’re at the infancy stages of mental and emotional enlightenment.
To use an analogy, Have you ever been to a new restaurant that’s just opened and found their service to be a complete disaster? They screw up orders, you might end up getting your meal half an hour after your dinner dates got theirs. Contrary to popular opinion, being the first people to try out a new restaurant isn’t fun, it’s usually a bit of a shit experience.
But you know, usually, you can recognise that the restaurant’s got the bones of a good business. They just need to sort their shit out. It’s just teething problems. You know they’ll get their act together with practice and eventually, they’ll iron all the bugs out. And that’s how I feel about this current era of narcissism. It’s only temporary.
I talk a lot about sugar babies on this platform, I’ve even written a book about my experiences with them.
And while everyone is different, every girl had a different back story, one glaring commonality that all the girls had that I met on the sugar dating sites was that they had a perverted definition of what it meant to set boundaries.
This was the general theme to all their backstories, every one of them:
“I have been hurt, abused and exploited by men in the past. I have been made to feel worthless by men in the past. But now I have discovered my value, my inner value. And that inner value has a monetary worth attached to it…”.
These girls were all overcorrecting so to speak. They had suffered some sort of trauma in their childhood, perhaps they were abused by their father or maybe their father just wasn’t present in their life, and that made them feel worthless.
And so to right the perceived wrong, the injustice they’ve suffered through being made to feel worthless by a man, these women choose to “flip the script”, they say to men, “I am worthy, actually, I’m worth more than you, so you have to pay me money to hang out with me!”.
But, you know, what they really want isn’t the money, they want what money represents to them. And usually, that’s something along the lines of respect or feeling valued. So, if you can give them that by just treating them with respect and being present with them instead of actual money, they’ll forget about the money. That’s what I found.
When you think about this whole sugar baby thing, it’s not really driven by pure narcissism, these girls aren’t doing it in the same vein as girls chasing likes on Instagram. From a woman’s perspective, it’s a fallback position, it’s a defence mechanism.
It’s them saying “well, I can’t seem to find a guy who will treat me with respect, a guy who will look after me and care about me, so if I can’t get that, I’ll just have to substitute the feeling of being genuinely cared for with money”.
I think it’s important to understand that people don’t just become man-hating feminists without a reason. While, as I stated in a recent video,: we are islands, our islands are all connected by the same ocean. We are all part of the same ecosystem and how we decide to conduct ourselves within that ecosystem dictates how others will experience it. I hate when men complain about girls with daddy issues becoming sugar babies and then in the same breath go “how can I exploit these same girls for my personal selfish gain?”
As I’ve stated in my own salt dating course that's freely available on YouTube btw, everyone has to have a good time, everyone gets treated with respect, perhaps the girl didn’t get everything they think they wanted, but they had a great night with a great guy who treated them well, and if there were more guys like that in the world, well maybe they’d try to lift their own game so that a guy like that might treat them like a serious relationship prospect...
As Ross Jeffries once said: “The ultimate red pill to take is the red pill of compassion”.
Perhaps we need to all work together on empathising with one another more, to get through this teething phase as fast as possible and develop some collective emotional maturity and to realise we’re all in this together…