So, what do high quality women want in a guy?
Looks, Money and status?
Well, sure, that’s the standard answer, but don’t all women want that?
I’m talking about just high quality women. Women who are long term relationship material
So in this blog, I’m going to give you 8 qualities that you can either check off if you genuinely believe you already possess it and if you don’t you can work on developing it, and then I’m going to give you the reason why low-quality women, women who aren’t worth your time or only really good for one night stands or a “friends with benefits” situation, why they will be repelled by these qualities.
So here we go. These are the 8 characteristics of a high quality man.
#1. He has a purpose (other than pursuing women).
I’m sure you’ve heard of the phrase “Never make women your mental point of origin”. This is not meant to be an attack on or an attempt to devalue women. It’s a reminder to men to find a "WHY". A reason to get out of bed that is bigger than yourself.
It’s an incredibly attractive trait when a man is genuinely passionate about something. And it doesn’t have to be about making lots of money.
Now, remember, we’re talking about high quality women here. Yes, low-quality women will just be interested in your bank account first. They will ask you what you do for a living only to gauge your earning potential.
She’s also only interested in your bank balance, not your passion. She’s looking for the quick gain where she has to invest very little of herself and isn’t interested in sticking around to support you while you realise your potential. Sugar babies are a perfect example of this mindset. Maximum profit for minimal emotional investment.
A high quality woman, on the other hand, will ask you what you do for a living to gauge your level of enthusiasm.
They want to know if you’re truly engaged in your work, or if you’re just doing something that you despise just to pay the bills.
They want to be with someone who goes for what they really want, not with someone whos happy to put up with something that makes them miserable. Because if you’re a guy whos willing to put up with a job that makes you miserable if you’re going to compromise on that, then what else are you going to put up with? Somebody beating up your woman while you watch?
A man who makes pursuing women their purpose is incredibly unattractive because he should have something more compelling going on in his life. A high quality woman doesn’t want the responsibility that goes with unconditional adoration and the expectations that come with being idolised. She knows that’s not realistic.
She wants you to be driven to achieve not just because you believe it’s your duty to provide. She’ knows that will lead to you being miserable. She wants you to be internally driven to do your best at what you do because you’re genuinely engaged in it.
So, to kick off the quiz, Aks yourself this question: do you love what you do for work, or is it just something that just pays the bills? Is your work something that you think about for pleasure, or is it something that only brings about stress when you think about it or maybe you even prefer not to think about your work at all when you’re off the clock?
So if the answer is yes, I do love what I do for work, congratulations, give yourself a tick. 7 more to go!
#2 He’s Emotionally Intelligent
So, being emotionally intelligent encompasses a few things.
Firstly, a high quality man is able to regulate his emotions. He won’t come unglued at the first hint of stress.
A high quality woman will shit test a guy she’s interested in to see if he has this quality. Women want their man to be a rock, a fixed point they can rely on to be the voice of reason even when she’s lost the plot emotionally.
Women are in constant fear of being consumed by their emotions. She wants to know that her man won’t fall victim to this as well. That creates chaos. She wants to observe his tenacity and his determination in the face of adversity. Will he have what it takes to take care of both of them even when the chips are down.
Secondly, a high quality man knows how to delay gratification.
He is not after the qintelligent the easy, short term solution to his problems. He plans for the long term and doesn’t give in to impulse buying. Because of this, he’s usually good with money and has his finances sorted out.
If he takes on debt, it’s investment debt, that’s good debt. You could include college debt in that too.
He’s not interested in taking out loans for iPhones, Cars, TV’s, Motorbikes, friggin jetskis, stuff that just depreciates. That’s just dumb.
Thirdly he displays social intelligence.
He has the capacity to develop and foster meaningful relationships with others.
He’s able to accurately gauge other peoples emotions, empathise with how others are feeling and then act accordingly.
Having a great sense of humour is a good example of this.
He doesn’t have to be the life of the party, but he has an acute awareness of what’s going on around him and within him.
A high quality woman will be seeking a man of good social status because it’s an indicator of strong mental and emotional health. It’s a good sign he’ll be a good father.
A low-quality woman will only be interested in a man’s social status in reference to what it can do to boost her own status. She’s not interested in his ability to defer immediate gratification or demonstrate self-control. In fact, those qualities probably work against her objectives, as it’s probably of benefit to her if the guy has problems with impulsiveness and self-control. These may be traits that she can play to her advantage.
So, do you have a healthy group of friends? Would you go on a risky adventure with your friends like, for example, go and climb a mountain together? Do you trust that your friends would have your back if you got yourself in trouble?
And also do you have your finances in order and you’re not up to your eyeballs in debt from buying things to keep up with the Joneses?
If you answer yes to all of this, then give this another tick.
#3 He Has a Healthy Level of Self Esteem
As Whitney Houston sang “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all”.
But seriously, high quality men take care of themselves because they value themselves.
They value their body and their mind because this is what they use to add value to the world.
Now, one thing that’s important to remember here is that self-esteem and confidence are two different things.
Confidence is built off the back of successes. It can ebb and flow depending on your results in any given field.
However, self-esteem is a constant. It doesn’t wax and wane as confidence does. It’s the backbone on which confidence is built.
So, for example, if you were going out to meet women, your confidence would fluctuate depending on your level of success. If you were experiencing a lot of bitchy behaviour from women and getting rejected a lot, well then your confidence would start to wane.
However, it would be your self-esteem that would pick you up from you bootstraps and say “you deserve to find someone who respects and admires you, you deserve a high quality woman”. It would be your self-esteem that would allow you to look and analyse what you were doing wrong in your interactions with these women and then iterate and change your approach so that you could become increasingly successful with them. And this, in turn, would boost your confidence.
A high quality woman knows how to see healthy levels of self-esteem in a guy because she has it herself. Sure, she likes a good body on a guy, but she can see through the masks of muscle that a lot of beefcake-y guys put on to hide their insecurities.
A low-quality woman can’t see through the mask of muscle because she doesn’t know what real healthy self-esteem looks like. How could she? She’s never experienced it herself.
So what did you eat this morning for breakfast? Was it healthy? Do you think about what you put into your body?
And do you value your own contribution to society? Do you consider your contribution to society worth something?
And finally, if someone offers a criticism of you positively, can you take it on board without getting upset?
If the answer is yes to this, give yourself another tick!
#4 He Demonstrates Practical Intelligence
Now, this is different from emotional intelligence. I’m talking about problem-solving ability here. Do you have the mental capacity to solve practical problems that come up in your life in an efficient way?
So, the difference here from emotional intelligence is that emotional intelligence refers to HOW you solve a problem, like can you control yourself and not lose your shit and panic in a crisis situation, are you able to empathise with other persons emotional state or do you have no idea what to do when someone starts crying or whatever, and do you get angry and frustrated easily.
Whereas practical intelligence refers to CAN you physically solve problems? Do you have a broad skill set and understanding of how things work in the world? How flexible are you mentally, how innovative are you and are you able to think outside the box to overcome a problem? Or are you just stuck in your old ways and habits?
A high quality man looks at a bad situation and sees opportunity. A low-quality man observes the same scenario and sees an unsolvable problem.
So, the keyword here is efficiency.
Low-quality women will value brawn over brains. They want the big muscly guy because they want a sledgehammer, not a scalpel to fix a problem.
They generally feel as though they are in a constant state of danger, so their answer to this is to find the biggest toughest looking guy to provide physical safety for them. This guy solves problems through blunt violence. Because how could there possibly be another way to handle a problem???
A high quality woman also values physical strength in a guy but understands that the pen is often mightier than the sword.
A man who has the skills to turn a potentially bad situation into a good one using nothing but his words is far more favourable than the “hulk smash” approach because it expends fewer resources.
So the question is, has there ever been a time where someone came along and presented you with a problem you’d never had to deal with before? How did you go? Did you have the skills to systematically deconstruct the problem and then figure out an efficient solution?
If the answer is yes then tick!
#5 He has Strong Boundaries
A high quality guy knows what he’s willing to put up with, and what he’s not willing to put up with.
If you cross the line, you’re out. Plain and simple.
There’s no “maybe just this one time”, or “maybe it different this time”. If you’re to overstep the mark with him, you’ll know about it.
Because he has standards. And if you don’t adhere to his standards then he’s not afraid to kick you to the curb.
Because a high-value guy lives his life with an abundance mindset. He knows that if things don’t work out with someone, well, he’s better off without them and it’s best to free up space in their life for someone else instead.
They don’t feel the need to put up with things that make them feel bad about themselves out of a of fear of not being able to replace it with anything.
High quality women respect this in a man because a man who has standards for himself and is willing to walk away from bad deals is more likely to keep her safe from harm.
A low-quality woman seeks out guys with porous boundaries because they’re easier to exploit. They’re willing put up with her shit, even if it makes them miserable.
So ask yourself this question: do you never hesitate to remove people in your life that don’t respect you?
If the answer is yes, give yourself another tick. If you have people in your life that you dread having to hang out with, then you probably have some work to do in this area.
#6 He Can Communicate His Needs in a Loving Manner
Now, this one can be associated with intelligence and boundaries as well.
These points all tend to sort of run into each other. They’re not completely separate from each other.
But what I mean here is, are you able to use diplomacy to communicate what your desire in a relationship?
Now, this doesn’t mean being machiavellian, self-serving and manipulative.
It doesn’t mean using passive-aggressive strategies to get what you want.
But, suffice to say, you have the communication skills to state what you want clearly without making anyone upset, and you can find a win-win solution through diplomacy.
It’s “Honey when you do that it makes me upset”, it’s not “you make me upset”. It’s addressing the behaviour instead of the person.
A high quality woman has the skills to communicate her feelings openly without feeling the need to play games.
A low-quality woman, on the other hand, won’t have a clue how to communicate her needs properly, so how can she expect her man to be able to. She’s used to resorting to underhanded, indirect tactics instead.
They’ll resort to cheating, gaslighting, and any kind of lying and manipulative behaviour to attempt to get what their needs met. Because that’s what they’ve been taught works.
If you tell the truth, you might not be accepted, so best to just lie.
However, I just want to make a point here that this isn’t to be confused with the fact that women tend to communicate indirectly, through feelings, which can confuse men who are used to communicating directly through facts.
For example, have you ever received a text from a girl that was like a long-winded story and you had no idea what she was trying to say? This is normal for women. This isn’t a sign of low quality. It’s just how women tend to communicate, they’re just trying to communicate how they feel and the only way they can sometimes is through telling an ambiguous story and hoping you’ll get the point.
So they’ll rarely just say “I’m sad right now”, they’ll instead tell you about how they struggled to get out of bed when their alarm went off in the morning and then something someone said to them affected them more than it would usually, and hope you get the message.
So that’s normal.
So the question here for guys is this: Are you confident enough to clearly state to anyone what you need from them without making them upset with you?
If so, then tick!
#7 They Take Responsibility For Themselves And Those They Care For (Who Have Earned It).
High quality men are men of their word.
If they say they’ll do something, they do it.
They take responsibility for they’re actions and their mistakes and they don’t blame others for their shortcomings.
For example, have you ever seen a guy bang his head on a door sill or kick his toe on a chair leg or something and then get angry at the chair, the inanimate object? This is a sure sign that a guy has problems taking responsibility for his actions.
Nothing is his fault, he’s always blaming others when things go wrong. He considers himself powerless and not in control of his destiny.
His catchcry is “hey, it is what it is”.
A high quality guy empowers himself by taking responsibility for his actions. He is the conductor of his destiny. He has the power to influence how the world reacts to him and how he reacts to it in turn. When things don’t go his way, he doesn’t sit back and blame the universe, he figures a way through.
A high quality guy also understands that, because he is usually the most capable and competent one amongst his group, it is his responsibility to protect and care for others. He doesn’t use his advantages in size and strength and intelligence for his own selfish gain, he uses them to improve the lives of others who are a part of his clan, because he understands that putting his own narcissistic desires aside for the good of the group creates better cohesion, less drama and an overall healthier environment. He’s a benevolent leader, not a malevolent one.
Low-quality women never take responsibility for their actions, unlike high quality ones. So they’ll blame everyone else around them for anything that goes wrong. It’s never their fault, it’s always someone else's. Like usually attracts like, so they’ll tend to attract guys who also lack responsibility.
So, the question here is are you a man of your word? Do you mean what you say and say what you mean?
Do others look up to you for guidance and do they value your input?
And do people trust you to care for things they consider important to them? If the answer's yes to these questions, check this one off the list!
#8 They Are In a Constant State Of Growth
High quality men have self-improvement as one of their core philosophies.
They work off the law of entropy: If you’re not growing, you’re dying.
It’s why you’ll never see high quality men playing video games all day. Sure, downtime is important, but if there are things you should be doing instead of playing video games, well, then there’s a problem.
They value eating well, sleeping well, exercise, developing new skills and investing in themselves.
Now this one feeds back into having a healthy level of self-esteem because only men who value themselves highly and value what they put into the world will put in the effort required to be constantly moving forward.
A high quality woman will share this value.
But, as with having a high level of self-esteem, a low-quality woman won’t consider your value of constant improvement to be an admirable quality.
She may even be intimidated by it and may even try to undermine your efforts to improve yourself. Because any attempt to improve yourself is a threat to her. Deep down, she knows she’s not a high quality person and the more you learn about being a high quality guy, the more you embody the traits of high quality, the more she’s likely to be exposed for what she really is.
Now, if you want to know whether you have this quality, ask yourself this: are you the same person you were 5 years ago. And if you aren’t, are you a more positive iteration of who you were 5 years ago.
If you’ve answered no to the first question and yes to the second one, give yourself a big fat tick!
So there you have it, that’s my list. As you can see, the items on this list sort of intermingle with one another. They’re not separate from one another but are all interconnected.
And it’s certainly now an exhaustive list. However, if you’ve ticked the boxes of most of the points on this list, well you’re certainly on the way to becoming a high quality guy that high quality women will love.
And if you can think of any other qualities a high-value man should have that I might’ve missed please comment below. Lets’s share this knowledge with as many guys as possible.