How To Date A "Feminist"
So, you meet a girl. She’s pretty, she’s intelligent, she’s fun to talk to. You’re like “this girl’s pretty cool, I’d like to see where this goes”.
So you ask her out, but after hanging out for a while it becomes obvious that she’s got some strange, arguably poorly thought out opinions regarding men and she identifies loosely as a “feminist”.
You’re thinking “shit, I really liked this girl, but I might have to pull the rip cord on this one”.
But before you do, let me just say that all might not be lost. Yet.
So can you turn a girl who identifies as a feminist into a feminine, sweet girl worth dating? Is that even possible? And if so, how do you even go about doing it?
So, there’s a lot of guys out there lamenting the declining femininity of women.
For whatever reason, maybe it’s the toxic influence of the mainstream media telling all these girls that they can have it all, and “you don’t need no man”, or perhaps it might be that they were compelled into becoming more independent due to self preservation, like they had to escape an abusive relationship or something.
Whatever the reason, the polarity between the sexes has experienced a steady decline. Women have become more like men and men more like women. It kinda sucks.
These days, women who embrace and celebrate their femininity are in short supply, and I think this scarcity has created the rise of movements like MGTOW and the black pill. There’s this growing feeling amongst guys that there’s just not enough good women left out there.
A lot of guys also think it’s just too difficult and perhaps too dangerous to attempt to navigate the perilous waters of a long term relationship. As many of them say, the juice just isn’t worth the squeeze any more.
Now, I certainly agree that there’s a lot more risk for men these days in relationships. Men are held accountable to their actions far more strictly today than in older times. And if you screw up, it can cost you big time. I can certainly understand why a lot of high quality guys and guys who would potentially make fine fathers and husbands just check out of the dating market altogether and “go their own way”.
But what about those guys who refuse to give up hope? Who see this dating and relationship apocalypse that we’re experiencing as just a problem that needs to be solved with the right skills and tools.
We’re talking about guys who still want a relationship, still want a family, but know they just have to go into it with their eyes wide open.
Where do they find sweet, honest, loyal, feminine girls these days?
How do you find a girl who doesn’t act like a friggin man, a girl who hasn’t had the sweetness beaten out of them by toxic feminism? A girl who hadn’t discarded her feminine energy, as if it were something deleterious to her character?
Well, the answer is, they’re all around you. A lot of these so called feminist types are just girls desperately waiting to meet a guy who can change their mind.
Now before we go on, the first thing you need to know is that I’m not going to be blowing smoke up your arse in this video and telling you that “any guy has the ability to turn a rampant feminist back into a sweet feminine girl”. In order to be able to do this successfully you have to be ON. FUCKING. POINT. Your game has to be tight and your shit has to be squared away. Because, if you attempt this, things are going to get knarly for you at the start and you have to be able to hold strong frame. But more on that later…
But anyway, the scenario I’m talking about here is, what if you could take a girl who perhaps, because of her peers or the media she was consuming, assumed she was supposed to act more masculine, more independent, but hadn’t really fully bought into the whole third wave feminist agenda. She was sort of being just “swept along” by this tidal wave of feminism and didn’t really realise there was a healthier alternative available to her?
She’s still a feminine, sweet girl at her core. She just needs someone to come along who has the ability to challenge her current belief system.
With this in mind, it’s important to note here that there is such a thing as a bridge too far. If you meet a girl who is just a pure misandrist, she hates men and she’s vehemently embedded in the feminazi agenda, well then it’s certainly best to not even bother with her.
Some women are just a lost cause. You just have to smile, say “have fun with all your cats”, and move on.
But, we’re talking about girls here who aren’t a lost cause. How do you do go about changing their mind?
Well, for starters, you’re not going to do it through arguing and debating with her, that’s for sure. You’re going to do it through your actions. And you’re going to have to become attuned to subtext, or understanding what your actions communicate to her in a non verbal way. I’ll explain what I mean.
So contrary to popular thought, you don’t need to be a six foot, tatted up dude to make a girl feel comfortable being in her feminine energy.
And You don’t need to be friggin Cornelius Vanderbilt either. You don’t need to be rolling in the dough to make her feel safe.
So what do you need to do?
Well, for starters you’ll need to hold strong frame. The reason she’s a feminist is because she’s not used to a guy being able to take charge effectively, so you’re going to have to change her mind through your actions.
You’re going to be the exception to rule, so to speak. She needs to observe you taking care of shit in a calm, confident manner. In a way that will make her start to think “wow, this guys different!”.
Now, like I said earlier be prepared for things to get knarly and to be shit tested like hell at the start until she learns to trust you. You’re about to undergo a trial by fire here.
So you’re going to constantly hear things like, “are you sure that’s a good idea?”, as she tests your convictions.
Or she might regurgitate some feminist rubbish she read on Buzzfeed or The Huffington Post just to see how you’ll react.
But, if you have the right attitude to shit tests and understand the subtext behind them, you won’t be bothered by them. Passing them becomes a game to you. They become funny. A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinion of sheep.
Generally speaking, women, and men too for that matter, we like balance, we like being in homeostasis. We want to move through life in our most comfortable, natural state. And for women, that natural state is submissiveness and men in turn SHOULD be comfortable taking charge.
The thing you have to remember here is that she wants you to take charge. Contrary to what feminism tells them, women aren’t giving their power away when they are being submissive.
They are embracing their power – they get to elect the guy they want to be in charge of them. She wants you to be certain of your decisions. She’s shit testing you to test the strength of your convictions.
If a simple shit test knocks you off your path, if you bend to her insecurities, her natural uncertainty, you’ve failed. That’s how they separate the wheat from the chaff.
The other main thing you have to have going for you, if you want to change her mind about feminism, is that you must be objectively better at playing this game of life. You must be a better all rounder than her. She can be more capable in some areas than you and that’s fine, she might even try to hold that over you sometimes but that shouldn’t effect you, let her have her little wins, but you have to be more competent than her in most areas.
As an example, I’ve experienced this personally quite a few times in the last 18 months with fitspo models and personal trainers that I’ve dated.
This may sound like a flex or I’m bragging, but I really think it needs to be brought up to make my point properly here. These girls can be quite intimidating to a lot of guys. They’re incredibly fit and focused for starters. One girl I dated did navy seal training regimes for fun. FOR FUN!
So yes, they might be supremely fit, certainly fitter than I am. Sure I work out fairly regularly and I run and whatever, but I’m certainly no David Goggins.
But you know what? That’s their thing. I have my own thing going on. I’m not interested in trying to compete with them on their turf. That doesn’t make sense.
She has her expertise and I have mine. And because I’m an expert in things that she’s not, then she has things she can look up to me for.
I used to make the mistake of trying to compete on her turf, in her realm of expertise, but that never works. It just makes you come across as submissive. The whole idea here is to stay in your frame. She’s got her thing, you’ve got yours. Your skills should be complimentary to hers, not similar, and if you understand that concept, the fact she happens to be more athletic than you doesn’t matter.
This is going to sound strange, but you need to prove to her you are worthy to lead the relationship by knowing you’ve got nothing to prove at all. You know you’re better than her at playing this game called life because all your actions communicate it and she’ll recognise that.
So, those are the two main things you have to have going for you in order to change her mind about being a “feminist”. You have to hold strong frame, and be objectively better at most things than her.
But I’m going to end this video with a dose of reality. There is a big fat caveat with all this.
If you try to fake being competent and she catches you out, well then you’ve just reinforced her old beliefs about men being useless. She’ll double down on the feminist angle and, because you’ve crushed her hopes by lying to her, by being a fraud, so to speak, she will actively work to destroy you.
She’ll tell everyone how “small” you are, how shit you were in bed, how emotionally and physically weak you are, she will try to destroy your reputation because it was all built on lies anyway. How dare you gave her hope!
So don’t try this until you embody the behavior of benevolent masculinity. Until you honestly believe you’re a high quality guy.
Make no mistake, this is dating on hard mode. Only do this if you’re up for the challenge.
So there are my thoughts. But what do you you think? Have you ever been in this situation, where a girl you liked had some weird feminist ideas? What did you do? I’d love to know your thoughts.