SO today we’re going to discuss if Going overseas to Ais or South America or Eastern Europe to find a girlfriend or a bride or whatever is a better idea than sugar dating in your local area. This keeps coming up over and over again with people contacting me wanting to know what the best way to get a feminine partner is these days.
So we’re going to be going through the pros and cons of both today. And look, I have no affiliation with any sugar dating site or some overseas matchmaking site so I can hopefully be quite transparent here, I don’t have any biases either way.
But this whole “should I get a foreign bride” seems to be a pretty hot topic as far as my little channel goes. I did a video about whether you should consider travelling overseas to Asia And Eastern Europe to find a girlfriend about a year and a half ago and that video is, I think it’s in the top 2 or 3 videos on my channel:
Btw, I’m going to be referring to women from Asia, Eastern Europe or South America collectively as “foreign women”, so like “dating foreign women” and whatever. It’s just easier…
Ok, so the first question to ask is, why do guys in increasing numbers feel that travelling all the way to Eastern Europe and Asia and South America to find a partner a legitimate thing to do now?
Well, it seems to be for one of three reasons:
Either it’s because they are sick of the lack of success they are experiencing with dating western women.
Or maybe they’re trying to circumvent all the red flags they perceive to be endemic in western women.
Or perhaps they believe that sedentary western culture along with the pervasive feminist agenda has rendered a lot of women in the west physically unattractive now.
So, in a nutshell, what these guys are after is a more “traditional conservative” trad-con type relationship, so the guy is the provider and the girl plays Suzy-homemaker. And they don’t believe that women in their own countries really respect what men bring to the table in a relationship.
So yeah, from that perspective I totally get guys wanting to travel overseas to “find love” or to find a girl willing to be in a relationship that is “patriarchal” in nature.
However, this leads us into the second question…
Will the Women From Asia Or Eastern Europe treat you better than the women on Seeking Arrangement?
Well, not really…
You have to remember that women will always act bitchy when they begin to fear for their safety.
People are nice to other people that they trust and unkind to people they don’t trust.
Yes! Both the girls on SA and your new overseas bride will be nice to you as long as they feel like they are being looked after and cared for.
However what seems to happen in many cases is that the guy promises a bunch of stuff to the girl to attempt to lure her to him, and then fails to deliver.
So in sugar dating, this might take the form of a guy promising an allowance but then backing out of the deal after he’s “done the deed”. This is known as “salt dating”.
In the foreign bride scenario, the guy's taken the girl away from her family from her support group by promising her a better life and then she gets to his place and realises he just wanted a slave to look after his shitty 2 bedroom apartment. It was just a “fugazi”...
Either way, if you play this whole bait and switch game with any girl expect to have to deal with a really pissed off chick.
I know, it feels as if women in the western world seem to have ridiculous unrealistic standards for men these days and it's frustrating if you feel like you could never live up to them.
But you know what? I know this isn’t going to be a terribly popular idea but you know what I think is really rare and attractive in our society these days? Honesty.
Think of it this way. You are being bullshitted and lied to by pretty much everyone these days on an ongoing basis. By the media, by politicians, by pretty much anyone who has some sort of self-serving agenda, which is pretty much everyone these days.
I think there’s a lot of women out there, pretty women too, who are really sick of being let down by people around them, including ex-boyfriends and partners, and really just want a guy who can be honest and open with them. Like that has have become a major turn-on for them because they don’t experience much of it.
Put yourself in a young attractive woman's shoes for a moment. You have all these guys saying whatever they need to say to try to fuck you all the time. But you’re not stupid, you know that all of it is complete bullshit. It would be completely exhausting having to deal with that on a daily basis.
Just to digress slightly, That’s why I say that men simping online for Instagram girls or whatever thinking that they actually have a chance with these girls is a total waste of time. It will never ever work as a strategy to attract one of these girls. Why? The girl doesn’t know you and doesn’t trust you and even if you are genuine, you’ve got no way to prove it.
They are not interested in you in the slightest bit. You are just another bullshit artist in a veritable sea of bullshit artists all trying to bullshit her into fucking you. That’s how she views you...
So, If these girls end up marrying, in almost every case it’s going to be a guy from within their network of close friends because at least she has “social proof” with this guy, which is really just another way of saying “she feels she can trust him”.
So, if you want people (not just pretty girls) to be nice to you and stay being nice to you, why don’t you practice some honesty. I personally have found that you can pretty much say anything to someone without them getting upset with you if you are 100% honest with them.
Now, that being said, On SA if you’re paying them an allowance, you’re basically hiring an employee essentially and as part of the deal is can be that they have to look pretty and be nice to you. And I guess if you’re worried that a girl won’t be nice to you if you just act yourself around them without your money to prop you up, then paying them to be nice to you is going to seem like a good idea.
But if that’s the case that tends to suggest a lack of confidence on your side.
Look, think about this for a moment: You might be fantastic at your job but I think it’s important to ask the hard questions. WHY are you so fantastic at your job? Is it because you need the approval of others that you’re worthwhile as a person and that’s why you work so hard at it? As long as you do a good job, and you’re a good servant or service provider then you’re a good person…?
Just putting it out there….
But what I’m saying is that you are good enough as you are. There’s probably really not that much wrong with you essentially. Yes, we all have our flaws, I certainly do, but You’re probably a pretty decent person essentially, you’re probably not a malicious sociopath.
It seems to be a common theme with my clients, they don’t believe they are worthy, not only for the girls on SA but just in general. They’re fantastic at their jobs, so they get enormous validation when they’re at work, but they can’t translate that confidence at work to confidence with women. And the reason for that is that their confidence is derived externally, not internally. They need the constant approval of their work colleagues to give them worth rather than just feeling internally that they are “enough”. And that’s what I really work on with my clients' guys...
There you go the cats out of the bag, In my coaching, I don’t just feed you a bunch of canned openers that you can use on the girls on SA, I think that’s what most people think I do.
But I mostly work with you to help you feel like you are enough, you’re worthy of the girls on Seeking.com without using your wallet because for the vast majority of the time, it’s true. Usually, the guys are better all-round people than the girls, that’s just the truth. They’re smarter, more cultured, have more common sense, have more money everything. The girls are just pretty and that’s it!
The point I’m trying to make here is that when you don’t feel like you’re enough for women you’re going to feel as though you have to lie to them, and women (for the most part) aren’t idiots, they can spot a liar a mile away.
SO the answer to the question of whether foreign women will be nicer to you than the girls on SA is that they will both be equally nice to you as long as you are upfront and honest with them.
There’s my long-winded answer!
Are the girls better looking on Seeking Arrangement than in Eastern Europe, Latin America or Asia?
Well, that’s going to depend on your particular tastes. But basically, you’re going to find girls that you’re VERY attracted to on either of these routes. That’s guaranteed.
I think the more important thing to consider here is the girls' motivations and values.
On SA the girls are ostensibly there to find a guy to take care of their finances. Each girl will be different but generally speaking, they want security, safety and comfort.
Foreign women want the same thing essentially.
So the difference here comes down to being able to take your time with getting to know the girls before you commit to anything and I feel as though Sugar Dating has a definite advantage here.
If you travel to another country you are, by virtue of the travel VISA you hold, you’re not really going to be able to physically spend much time with the girl. You can’t take your time to vet the girls properly. It’s usually just “yeah, she’s pretty hot, I’ll take that one!”.
Now, sure you can video chat to your hearts desire with your new Ukrainian girlfriend, but you have to remember that anyone can put on an act for half an hour while they’re on a video conference. So you really aren’t going to know what you’re getting yourself into until it could be too late.
So I think that dating girls from sugar dating sites in your local area is a better go here. They’re local so you can see them in person, you can take your time getting to know them if you really want, they’re not really going anywhere, you can spend actual time with them and figure out who they are as a person before committing to someone. If that’s what you really want to do…
Who Has More Scammers?
Well, I think it’s pretty clear that there’s plenty of people willing to prey on desperate men out there. During my stint on Seeking.com, I reckon about 20% of the profiles were scams, it was about double the amount that is on Tinder.
And I think we’ve all seen TV shows about Russian Bride scams and the like. It happens and it happens quite a bit.
But here’s a little tidbit of info that you might be interested in.
Before the world went to shit with “the virus that shall not be named on YouTube”, a friend of mine who admittedly is a bit of a serial womaniser used to have to travel to Eastern Europe about twice a year in order to fulfil contractual sponsorship obligations that he had with a snowboarding company. So, about a month before he was due to go over there he would sign up to a few of those Eastern European or international dating sites like Russianlovematch.com, run online game with the girls on there and set up some dates with them for when he was over there.
This worked out great! For him anyway. These girls didn’t think of themselves as sugar babies, so they weren’t after an allowance or anything So he just showed them a good time while he was there and then said goodbye to them when he left. And that was it!
Now admittedly this sounds great from a guys point of view but there is a caveat with this, it did lead to some sticky situations for him. You’ve got to remember these girls were looking for someone to get them out of Slovenia or Latvia or Ukraine or wherever.
And so, for example, one girl followed him all the way from Russia to Bali, while he and I and a bunch of other friends were holidaying for a couple of weeks, we were like "who the hell is this girl who just rocked up man?".
And then this same girl followed him back to Singapore where he was working, so she was a bit of a clingy nutcase. A very pretty nutcase, but still a nutcase...
So this little racket that he had going worked for him most of the time and it might be something you’d like to consider too. While it could be arguably a tad morally ambiguous I personally don’t really see anything wrong with it as long as you’re not getting anyone pregnant and then bailing and everyone has a good time and is treated with respect while you're together.
What is the ratio of Women To Men?
Well, on Seeking Arrangement the woMen to men Ratio is about 4:1 on average. In contrast, the Best Country in Europe is Latvia @ 1.17:1.
Now I’m aware There is a claim flying around on the internet that Latvia has 7 Women to One man but I guarantee that’s total bollocks.
Think about it. A country that had that level of gender imbalance would be swamped with men within 6 months, which would even out the ratio.
And with that in mind, I will say that the competition is fierce on SA for genuine top quality guys because of the disparity FOR THE TIME BEING.