Hi Folks.
So this is a blog I’ve been meaning to make for a while. There seems to be a lot of guys out there who are getting insecure around whether they’re being viewed as being alpha or beta in a womans' eyes.
I’m getting questions around the idea that if she makes you wait a few dates for intimacy and doesn’t want to immediately jump your bones at the mere sight of you, does that make you a beta shmuck?
So this is my response to these questions around the topic of “she’s making me wait for intimacy, does that make me beta?”.
Now, I might get called blue pilled and plugged in and all that shit because of what I’m about to say but this is my viewpoint and it’s not going to change.
But having had probably more than my fair share of one night stands and also experienced girls who have made me wait a bit longer before sleeping with me, I’ve always found the ones that made me wait to be a far more fulfilling and more meaningful experience.
There’s the old saying that "A key that opens many locks is a good key, a lock that opens for any key is a bad lock".
This basically refers to the differing mating strategies of the sexes. Men who know what truly turns women on will be successful with plenty of women, however a promiscuous woman who allows many guys to “unlock” her is innately low quality.
However, to some extent, I’ve observed that a great deal of the Red Pill community seems to be a bit confused with this. On one hand, there’s the idea of “alpha seed, beta need”, where a woman will “do what she needs to do and compromise on her traditional “values” to gain access to the genes of a man she considers to be good breeding stock. So we’re talking one night stand situations here.
On the other hand, we’re being told to steer away from promiscuous women and girls who will sleep with you after barely knowing you.
"Women will break rules for the alpha and make rules for the beta". That’s what the red pill tells us. And indeed I’ve experienced both sides of this. If you want more details on my personal experiences then check out my book.
But, whether it’s intentional or not, it can’t be denied that the general opinion of the red pill community seems to be that the alpha seed scenario is far more advantageous for men these days and perhaps to some extent the path that’s more encouraged than the beta need scenario.
And I get that. If you’ve just come out of a messy breakup the last thing you want to do is settle down with another women. Hey, I feel the same! The last thing I wanted to do when I got divorced was get into another long term relationship. I just wanted to go out and bang hot 20 year olds for a while without being tied to anyone.
But the thing is, in order to make that alpha seed scenario possible for you, you need to find promiscuous women.
But, then the red pill also tells you that promiscuous women are bad for you. And I agree, they generally are. They are only good for one night stands.
Do you see the dilemma here?
They’re telling you to become alpha so you can sleep with lots of women, but the women who you’ll end up sleeping with on one night stands aren’t really the type of women you should be hanging out with.
I think this really confuses a lot of men out there.
We’re being encouraged to hang out with girls that we’re being simultaneously discouraged to hang out with.
And I know, they’re saying “one night stands are ok with these girls, just don’t get into a relationship with them”. But if what we want are more high quality women to choose from in our society, shouldn’t we be encouraging the behaviour associated with high quality women as opposed to throwing our attention at low quality women, even if it is only for a night?
You can’t go crying about how women are all terrible people when that’s essentially what you’re seeking out through your actions. If you’re seeking out the type of women who are promiscuous, you can’t get upset when all the women you meet are promiscuous.
So, to sum up, what I’m saying here is that there’s certainly something to be said for quality over quantity.
As frustrating as it might be for you if you’re horny, it’s actually a very good thing to meet a girl who’ll make you wait until she’s comfortable with you and feels like she knows you.
You’re not a shitty beta pussy if she’s making you wait a few dates. You’re a guy she actually feels she knows and genuinely likes. And she’s a girl who has standards, and you should find comfort in that instead of anxiety.
“She’s making me wait, she won’t sleep with me on the first date. Does she think I’m beta?”.
Fuck that shit!
She’s decided to sleep with you because she feels she’s learnt who the real you is and she likes it. She’s not just sleeping with the archetype you put on to get her into bed on the first night. You should feel flattered, not emasculated.
Now I used to do this, I used to put on the archetype of the suave, devil may care lothario and it got me some serious success with women.
But I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say that men want to be loved, desired and understood by women for who they truly are.
Yes, there is certainly a lot of truth to the old adage that men love idealistically while women love opportunistically. And I’ve experienced this first hand.
But that is taking the bleakest, most pessimistic frame imaginable to relationships. Yes, all relationships in nature are transactional at their core, and if you’ve recently been hauled over the coals by your ex wife you’re certainly more than entitled to take a very cautious, pragmatic approach to getting involved with women again. My book essentially outlines my own journey with this.
Personally, I’ve learnt to put aside all that theory about the transactional nature of relationships because it will end up just doing your head in and instead ask myself this one simple question – “Does this relationship make me feel good about myself?”.
All the advice in my videos revolves around helping you avoid relationships that make you feel bad about yourself. That’s it. If it doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, get the hell out of it.
But if you’re a 60 year old guy banging a 20 year sugar baby and you genuinely don’t have a problem with the fact she’s only doing it for the allowance you pay her, go for it son! More power to you!
It’s only a problem if what you’re doing makes you feel bad about yourself
So when a girl makes you wait a few dates, it’s a good thing. You’re not a beta pussy.
And you’re not only alpha or only beta. Geez, you’re more complicated than that. Give yourself some credit! You’re a person, you’re complex and nuanced. Sometimes you’re going to be seen to be more alpha and sometimes you're going to be seen to be more beta.
And that’s totally ok.