Short Guy Problems? | The Napoleon Complex

So, I was on Reddit the other day and I was drawn to this post, probably because I’d had a couple of conversations with friends and clients about the subject of the problems of dating as a short guy.

Now, for a bit of context, I’m not the tallest man in the world either. I’m about 175cm tall or about 5”9’, so I guess this post should apply to me too.

I'm short and it has affected my life negatively. I get rejected ALL the time by girls, because they say they don't date guys under six feet tall. I get ignored all the time on campus by taller students, both male and female. And I am often passed up for jobs (in security) because they only want to hire the biggest, fattest, tallest men. Short guys get mocked and picked on by men and especially women, they earn less money than guys over six feet, and they have less friends and lower confidence. I've seen literally NO positives in being under six feet tall, and all negatives. I believe this is the case for most short men, and the further you get away from six feet and above, the worse it gets.

So, let’s run through some of the “problems” the writer points out here:

Short guys are seen unattractive and completely undatable by women.

Correction – short guys who have an insecurity complex around being short are seen as unattractive and completely undatable by women.

Short guys are seen as being unable to protect their partners.

Short guys get mocked by taller men and think they’re an easy target.

Short guys are picked on and bullied more.

Then don’t act like you’re an easy target.

Short guys have less confidence.

Correction – Short guys with less confidence have less confidence.

Short guys weigh less and are almost always physically weaker.

Has this guy heard of a gym?

Short guys earn less money at work.

Short guys get promoted less.Short guys are taken less seriously by managers and employees.

Short guys are more likely to get fired at work.

Yes, the research does show that individuals who are shorter will get paid less. And I’ll discuss this in more detail later.

Short guys are more likely to be a victim of a violent crime.

Short guys are less likely to be taken seriously by anyone.

I'm not just talking about me here, but all short men in general.

So, please, please try to Change My View.

I think the main problem here is that this guy believes his perceived lack of stature is the inherent cause of his issues. But if that was the case, these issues would be completely universal.

But to me, it’s pretty obvious that if you act like a little weak bitch, people are going to treat you like a little weak bitch. And it really doesn’t matter how tall you are.

In fact, I had this group of friends and all the guys were massive compared to me, bloody 6”6’, 6” 7’ guys, all of them! I couldn’t stand hanging around them anymore because they were constantly acting like little 15-year-old girls. They couldn’t make a decision on anything to save their lives. They were the biggest bunch of ditherers and vacillators I’d ever met in my life!

Anyway, getting back to the issue of guys getting paid less and getting promoted less at work because they’re short, I did a little digging here. And I think that the term “correlation doesn’t imply causation” is pretty apt here.

I hate reading research papers, they’re so fucking boring. And a lot of the time I just skip to the conclusion page. But from what I gather, the research shows that people who are taller are generally more content, happier people. And then they just posit a few reasons why this may be. But the papers all state that more research has to be done on the reasons behind the findings.

Now, I want to quickly talk about the Napoleon Complex, or Short Man Syndrome for a bit here. Apparently, scientists in the Netherlands have confirmed that this is a real thing now.

Basically, the Napoleon complex is when a guy acts more aggressively to make up for their lack of height. I’m sure you’ve met one of these angry little ants, who just really need to chill out.

However, conversely, in 2007, researchers at the University of Central Lancashire found that tall men — not short ones — were quicker to anger when provoked. So, when you look at these two studies, what’s the conclusion here. Different people do different things??

I think to sum up, if you want to use the research that you find as a crutch and an excuse for your lack of effectiveness in life, then that’s up to you. I would advise against such self-defeating talk, but hey, I’m just a dickhead on the internet and what do I know.

What I do know is that a very good friend of mine is barely 5”4’, and his height doesn’t stop him from constantly dating 8s, 9s and 10s. Most of whom are taller than him. It doesn’t bother him, because he doesn’t buy into this idea that he’s a lesser guy because he’s not over 6” tall. But, once again he’s done the work on himself to get him into a position where he’s the best version of himself and that gives him confidence. He’s a highly successful and very well-paid contractor in the IT industry, but he’s also a semi pro snowboarder so he’s travelling the world doing promotion videos for his sponsors, and he’s got a healthy Instagram following, so this all boosts his social value and makes him a compelling prospect for any girl out there.

So, it’s not objectively your lack of height that hampers your success, it’s the meaning you give your stature. If you use your height as an excuse for your failures, well then that’s the narrative you’re going to live your life by. “I’m not a success because I’m not tall, girls don’t like me because I’m not tall”. But the good thing is, you’ve got total control of what that narrative is.