I got asked by a client the other day if I think he should go mgtow.
What is mgtow? Well, in a nutshell, it stands for men going their own way, and it basically defines the situation where a guy decided to focus on himself and his own self improvement over getting into or seeking to be in a relationship as a response to the perceived current untenable and gynocentric dating and relationship culture.
I personally believe that mgtow is incredibly beneficial to women as well as men. Perhaps not directly, but indirectly.
So, what do girls want from men? I would say that one of the main things they want is competency from their partner. They want to know that if shit goes down their man will have what it takes to keep them alive and safe.
So, one of the main consequences of mgtow, which is the focus on constant self-improvement, is actually incredibly beneficial to women as it gives men the opportunity to improve their skills at acquiring resources. So, while a man is focussed on improving these skills, the challenge for women is to have the skills and desirable attributes to attract such a man. I think the problem with the current societal culture is that there’s a good percentage of women that seem to think that is totally reasonable instead to demand that men change their basic nature and what they naturally find attractive so that these women don’t actually have to take responsibility for their own shortcomings and do any work to improve themselves. And then these women get angry and resentful of men when they refuse and ignore them and consequently, they decide that’s it’s all too hard and go their own way too.
I learnt the word “aposematism” not long ago – where you see frogs in the jungle, or snakes and octopuses and even mushrooms all brightly coloured are the ones that are poisonous and its basically a sign telling all other animals “don’t try to eat me, because I’m deadly”, and that’s why you see some women who are angry with men sporting crazy coloured hair, blue hair purple hair. They’re sending a message saying “don’t fuck with me”.
My main philosophy is that every guy should stop making getting into a relationship the most important thing in their life and concentrate on making the best version of themselves.
Leave the relationship stuff to the girl. Acting in this manner violates the principle that women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships. It makes men act like women and ruins sexual polarity.
So, do I think that guys should go mgtow? I think that guys should just focus on themselves and not get deeply involved with the mgtow and red pill community as it stands. The problem I personally have with the communities out there is that the majority of them have an air of negativity and resentment towards women in general. In other words, the decision to go mgtow for most of these guys was made because of some painful event, like a shitty divorce, and therefore they were influenced to go mgtow through a negative external influence, and they carry this cynicism into the red pill community and vomit it on to the other members, corrupting them as well. And it just becomes a circle jerk-y echo chamber where guys go to hate on women. And I know that’s not what the godfathers of the red pill community didn’t have that in mind and that their mission initially was to help men understand the nature of women and why they do what they do from an objective point of view, but they can’t deny that, I guess through no real fault of their own, the community they have created pulls men who are fearful and hateful of women toward them like gravity, and I personally think they are not doing enough to address the fact that their message is being corrupted internally by influential members within their own community and it seems like all they’re focussed on currently is building their viewer base.
I’ve always viewed mgtow as a positive movement that benefits both sexes and society in the long run. Men focus on improving themselves, and women SHOULD respond to guys improving themselves by being inspired to do the same. And if you’re a woman and your goal is to find a partner, that improvement will need to be focussed around doing what is necessary to attract a good quality man. And if the girl chooses to remain single and therefore embody more what could be considered traditional masculine traits in order to remain independent and do it all herself, well then, she will the opportunity to derive inspiration from not only women in a similar situation to her, but also men.
My divorce was totally chill and drama free. And I know that I’m the exception to the rule, but it also gave me a reference point to understand that not everyone is the same, and not every woman is selfish and unreasonable. Arseholes come in the form of both sexes. It’s your responsibility to grow the skills necessary to effectively vet those who aren’t worthwhile keeping in your life, and keep circulating and searching for those that are.
I’ve always maintained that your life’s journey should be about growing, not shrinking. I mean if you’re not continually growing, you’re in essence shrinking. And that getting out there, giving yourself the opportunity to meeting new people and constantly asking myself “what if I met someone really cool today”, instead of just cutting yourself off mentally and emotionally from the possibility, no matter how remote you currently think it is, is a far healthier way to go about going mgtow.