Basking in the glory of my most recent post nut clarity a couple of days ago, a strange and disturbing thought occurred to me…
And, despite the arguably farcical circumstances by which I came about this thought (pun intended) the more I thought about it the more I realised that It was actually a rather serious issue.
I think everyone’s sick of hearing from these higher than thou-ers that “the media you’re consuming influences how you think”.
Bla Bla Bla. We get it. Of course, it does. How could it not?
However, most of these people are talking about the news and legacy media. About how depending on whether you’re a regular consumer of Fox News or CNN, you’re more likely to have a right or left-leaning bias. That sort of thing.
What they’re generally NOT referring to, which is a HUGE oversight as far as I’m concerned, is the MOST consumed form of media.
Nugget Bread as they call it in the navy.
How do you think that Influences us?
Did you know that 20% of ALL web searches from a mobile device are adult entertainment related? That means that when you’re walking down the street in town watching everyone staring at their screens instead of paying attention to where they’re going, 1 in 5 are trying to get either rock hard, or soaking wet…
But that’s not the real revelation I want to talk about here. All I’m doing is setting the scene now for you…
Look, I’m not a weirdo, at least not too much of one. I don’t have any weird fetishes that most of us would gasp in horror at.
And this is certainly not a moment I would usually share with the internet, but, considering that I’m pretty sure most of you guys have experienced the revelation-inducing clearness of thought that comes shortly after “releasing the hounds”, I felt you could empathise with me...
Usually, this post-nut clearness of thought results in evaluating one's current circumstances.
“Why am I still with this girl?”
“What am I going to eat tonight?”
“What the hell am I doing with my life?”
But This particular “post nut clarity” thought bubble was more along the lines of “what the hell is everyone doing with their life?”
A pretty big question…
Speaking of clarity, just so we’re clear, this isn’t going to be all about "No-Fap.
If it feels good and doesn’t hurt anyone do it I say, and if it does hurt you make sure you can stop doing it. And if you can’t stop yourself, don’t be afraid to ask someone to help you stop. It’s as simple as that…
And I don't know about you but I’m tired of being told that everything's gonna kill me. I’m tired of being told what I can and cannot do.
A lot of us just went through 2 years of “what we can and cannot do” being shoved down our throats….
As far as I’m concerned, everything in moderation boys and girls.
No, Instead, I want to talk to you about the rise of the shy guy in adult movies
Now, I’m not a regular consumer of adult content but I ain’t no evangelical either so I’m not gonna lie, I know my way around Dan's Movies and Thumbzilla.
And there’s a trend I’ve noticed that’s creeping into a lot of categories of “online adult entertainment.”
In a lot of “productions”, where the premise involves a female and a male sharing a space that’s conducive to intimacy, the female more than often is now the one who aggressively pursues the male, who is often portrayed as weak, passive, dithering, procrastinating and submissive.
So you have a scenario where the girl likes the guy, comes on very strong to the guy and, instead of the guy immediately seizing the opportunity to make something happen, he resists, runs away, and procrastinates. He in essence acts like a virginal female.
And it’s only through the sheer persistence and decisiveness of the woman that the deed is performed.
And this is the kicker.
Once things get started it’s pretty much business as usual, if you know what I mean. After initially acting like a weak little bitch, the talented male performer is then observed to be highly proficient in the role of a considerate and experienced lover…
So this is the new wave of male fantasy writ large.
I mean, what man wouldn’t want to be aggressively pursued by an attractive young woman who is clearly on heat?
To have an opportunity literally fall into their lap!
This is what men are being fed when they watch adult entertainment. You don’t have to improve, you don’t have to work, you can literally sit around playing video games all day and a horny 9 or 10 will be all over you, regardless of how shy, insecure and indecisive you act.
And sure, you can say that Stuart, this is a fucking FANTASY!
I know it’s a fantasy. But that’s the problem. I think it’s the wrong fantasy for men to have!
The problem is that cultures media doesn’t create the spirit or mood of the particular time it resides. It is merely a reflection of the cultural zeitgeist.
Sure, you can argue that politics and the media have colluded many times in the past to influence our beliefs and behaviours, but most of the time, unless you have a specific agenda to change the natural course of things, it’s just easier and more efficient to give the consumer what they already want.
And it seems that what a substantial number of adult entertainment consumers desire is the fantasy that they can be an extremely proficient lover without having to endure any of the learning experiences that lead to being one…
They want to be lazy. They want it all for nothing…
I remember my first time with a girl very vividly. It was your very typical “first-time” experience. I remember there was lots of kissing beforehand because that’s all I really knew what to do, and I really didn’t even know for certain what was supposed to go where.
But I was lucky that my partner was kind, understanding and equally nervous and we managed to blunder through the experience together without creating too much trauma.
In retrospect, I wouldn’t say we had fun per se. It was more of a stressful learning experience. It kinda felt like a “sink or swim” scenario. A steep learning curve.
But I knew it was something I wanted to get better at. And after getting that first experience under my belt I, like most other young men, wanted to try the same experience with as many young women as I possibly could.
However, I quickly discovered that the vast majority of young women didn’t share my sentiments, at least not with me anyway.
So I had to, over many MANY years of trial and error, figure out what behaviours and qualities women were naturally attracted to.
I discovered that women like men who look after their health, and have some self-respect.
I discovered that women like guys who are confident and decisive in their actions. Who has a plan for the future, ambition.
They like guys who can communicate their thoughts and feelings but have the emotional fortitude to not be at the mercy of them.
All this I discovered through countless failures.
The producers of adult content are no morons. It’s a cutthroat industry and you live and die based on your ability to understand your audience, in much the same way it is with any other form of media.
They know about the clinical studies reporting a significant drop in testosterone levels in western males in the last 4 decades.
They know about the 300% rise in males that have reported no sexual activity since the advent of online dating.
And they know that men are feeling more and more apprehensive about cold approaching women in public out of fear of social ostracism.
They know that men are becoming more effeminate, more disenfranchised and more purposeless and they’re creating content that reflects this…
Personally, I also think there’s a yearning by many men to experience the overwhelming social acceptance that they perceive attractive young women receive just for being themselves.
People are bending over backwards to throw money at young attractive women seemingly for merely existing!
Social media superstar and dirty bath water merchant belle Delphine reported earning 1 million dollars a month at the height of her fame.
A million dollars a month. Just for being a pretty girl.
As a young man, knowing this has got to fuck you up to some degree.
Perhaps you may even grow slightly jealous and may fantasise about the same levels of adoration, appreciation and acceptance heaped upon you, and perhaps that fantasy may take some form of experiencing unconditional love…
Of being wanted for merely existing too…
But hey, I’m just a dickhead on the internet, so I could be completely wrong.
But I can’t help but notice that more male adult performers are looking more and more like “normal guys”.
And the fastest growing search category is apparently “Pinay”, which I had to look up because I’d never heard of it before.
According to urban dictionary, it means Filipino women.
Tiny Asian females basically.
The closest approximation that a living breathing human being can be to a sex doll…
So, you have a growing group of mostly men enjoying adult entertainment that portrays men as being the pursued rather than the pursuer, and you have the statistically smallest, physically weakest and powerless female demographic being the fastest growing search category.
Where do you think this is all heading for us as a culture?