Weak Dads and Spoiled, Entitled Princesses: A Different Perspective...
So, as the father to my eleven-year-old daughter, I’ve noticed some things happening already that I really thought I was prepared for, but I’m stunned that it’s happening at such a young age.
This is really uncomfortable for me to talk about, but she’s already getting weird creepy men staring at her and boys from school sending her love letters.
She’s still so innocent, she doesn’t know what the hells going on, she just thinks all boys are crazy.
So, it feels weird to be talking about my daughter this way, but I’m sure any father with a teenage daughter felt the same way I do now when you first started to realise that boys were taking notice of your little pride and joy.
I mean, obviously, as a guy I know exactly what these other guys are thinking, even though she’s only bloody 11 years old. They’re "becoming aware of her biological value".
But the funny thing is, it’s not only men, it adult women as well who seem to shower her with attention. I’ve lost count of how many times my daughter has just been given stuff for free by complete strangers. It’s incredible! I mean at the moment, it’s just icecreams and silly little trinkets, but how long will it be before people start offering her money for other "stuff"?
As I said, this is cringe-worthy stuff I’m talking about here, but I think it really needs to be discussed.
Because watching this all unfold in front of my eyes makes me realise how easy it could be for attractive girls to just succumb to the prospect of cruising through life on someone else's dime.
I mean, think about it. If people were constantly throwing money and gifts at you for doing absolutely nothing except existing, it would be really hard to turn that down.
And more to the point, since it started happening to you from such an early age, it would be difficult to think you weren’t naturally entitled to all this attention. And it would also be very difficult to empathise with people who weren’t in your shoes.
It would take the self-restraint of a friggin Buddhist monk not to just succumb to the temptation of letting everyone else do the hard work for you, and get up off your arse and earn a living like everyone else.
And it would take the foresight of Nostrodamus to realise that you can’t cruise by on your looks for the rest of your life.
Because when you’re a kid, you think that everything that you’re doing now is permanent.
“Oh I’m always going to play Minecraft, I’ll never get sick of that”!
“I’m getting a tattoo of Cardi B, because I’ll always be into Cardi B”
“Oh, I’ll always be able to get some guy to look after me”
But a child doesn’t have the wisdom or maturity to make decisions for the future, so they need to be able to rely on the wisdom of their parents to teach them that there’s no such thing as a free ride.
But what happens if their parents, in particular their father, don’t help them learn this lesson?
Well, it creates the 2 paths to becoming a low-quality human being.
Now, this equally applies to males, but we’re going to be talking predominantly about females here.
The first is if they felt abandoned or not valued by their father, and as a consequence developed what is colloquially known as daddy issues. I’ve already discussed this in-depth in my video. It’s called “The Cold Truth About Girls With Daddy Issues”.
The other way is if they’re were treated like a princess by their weak father. This path is much less discussed and it’s what I want to talk about here.
You see there’s this natural tendency within men to provide protection to females, much more than fellow males. It leads a lot of fathers to wrap their daughters up in cotton balls while allowing their sons to roam the streets at midnight.
Now, these fathers would say that they are trying to preserve their daughters' value, that they want to keep their daughter safe. And to a large extent, I agree with the sentiments of these fathers.
No father wants to have to deal with an unwanted pregnancy, or something even more unthinkable.
However, it’s when this level of protection slips into adoration by the father that you start having problems.
You see the father should be seen as the head of the household. It is their job to lead the family. To provide protection, safety and resources for his clan. He’s supposed to be the most capable one. And in return for this protection, he gets the final word in most important decisions.
However, our culture has changed in the western world to the point where a lot of men out there feel like they’re second class citizens within their own home.
Women who, through the rise of feminism, have been encouraged to usurp the father for dominance within the household, follow their natural instinct to put their children first above themselves, leading to a strange situation where the family hierarchy is flipped upside down, the children become the bosses of the house and the father becomes the lowly shit kicker, ranked just above the family pet.
And if you’re convinced you’re at the bottom of the pile, you’re going to go about seeking approval from those above you in the pecking order, and this is where you get fathers pampering their daughters.
It’s a death by a thousand concessions. It starts innocently enough, you’re exhausted from work, your daughters left a bunch of clothes on the floor instead of putting them in the laundry basket, but you really can’t be bothered having a confrontation about it today, so you just put her clothes in the basket for her. Just this once, if she does it again tomorrow, you’ll tell her off.
But tomorrow never comes. And before long, she’s got you well and truly trained.
I hear the same types of stories time and time again. I even had this one guy tell me recently he had changed all the internal doors in his house to solid core, heavy-duty doors because his twin daughters would go around slamming doors when they were in a huff.
Wouldn’t the cheaper solution be to just punish them for slamming doors?
If a girl is used to her father being easily manipulated into doing everything for her, and being too spineless to stand up to her, then this is what she’s going to expect from other men.
She’ll be that horror date that just ignores the guy but still expects him to pay for dinner. Maybe she might even try to invite her friends along to exploit the poor chumps' generosity.
But while she won’t feel the need to seek the attention that she never had from men like girls with daddy issues do, instead, she’ll seek out a spineless schmuck weak enough to do her bidding for her.
But the thing is, these girls, they’ll never be happy. They’ll forever be resentful of the men in their lives not standing up to her, not putting her in her place.
As much as seems like it would be heaven having things just gifted to you, the fact is, we all want to feel like we’ve earned our rewards in life.
A woman who had a weak father has been robbed of this.
It must be terrifying for a child to be placed at the top of the hierarchy within the household. On the surface, it sounds wonderful having parents who are there at your beck and call to provide anything your little heart desires.
But deep down, you know you shouldn’t be in charge. You know you need your parents to pull you into line and discipline you when you need it. You need your parents to create order from chaos because that’s where you find safety.
So it’s very understandable for a girl to feel resentful towards her father who wasn’t strong enough to pull her into line when she was acting like an arsehole.
She goes through life feeling like men can’t provide her with the safety she desperately craves.