So, it’s a commonly asked question by guys in relationships: would my partner ever cheat on me? There’s a common saying amongst the red pill community that “all women are like that”, or AWALT for short. Now, this is a term that is used to remind us of a woman’s natural inclinations towards hypergamy or securing the best man she can get for a relationship. As I’ve mentioned in a previous video, “all women are like that” does not mean that “all women are sluts” and all women will cheat on you”. I think there’s a huge misunderstanding around this concept, and just because you yourself may have been cheated on, and I know from first-hand experience that it sucks to get cheated on, it doesn’t mean that every woman will cheat like they can’t help it or something. It does, however, mean that every woman has the capacity or potential to cheat, given the right circumstances, and these circumstances are influenced heavily by 2 particular variables: Her level of happiness or satisfaction with her relationship, and her innate resistance to cheating So, there’s a very simple equation that you can use to calculate the likelihood of your partner cheating:
Where
H(happiness) x R(resistance to cheating) = C(likelihood to cheat)
So I'm going to show you how this equation works:
Now first, let's calculate “h” or the happiness or contentment level of your partner. This variable is calculated more with a gut feeling, but I’ll give you a couple of pointers in a second that will help you calculate an accurate number. It’s very important to be honest with yourself here and not bullshit yourself though.
So This score is out of 10, with 10 representing that she’s madly in love with you, you can’t keep your hands off each other, and she feels really connected to you emotionally and she really feels like you’re her soulmate and the two of you were meant to be together, that sort of stuff, and 1 representing that she’s pretty much given up on you.
So, has she ever uttered the phrase “I don’t care anymore” or “just go and do whatever you want, it doesn’t matter anymore”, things like that. If she’s uttered those sorts of phrases lately then you’ve got to give yourself a score of 1 or 2 at best. Remember, the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. When she stops giving a shit, when she can’t even be bothered fighting with you any more, that’s when you know your relationship is in deep deep trouble. So, give your partners happiness level a score out of 10. This is your variable “h” in the equation. Next, we need to figure out her resistance to cheating. This is an element that is a fraction of “1”, with the number 1 representing that she has an extremely strong resistance to cheating. Think of it as a percentage, with “1” representing she has a pretty much 100% chance of not cheating on you. So to calculate this variable, we start off with the number 1. And now I’m going to give you a list of 10 factors that have been scientifically proven to increase the likelihood of a person cheating. For every factor that you answer “yes” to in this list, deduct 0.1
So here we go:
1. Does she have any substance abuse issues? Does she have a problem with gambling, or drugs or alcohol?
2. Does she have problems with her self esteem? Does she have a problem feeling worthy of love or is she constantly showing signs of insecurity?
3. Now this is a sad one, and certainly not her fault, but has she suffered some sort of childhood trauma or emotional neglect, so has she been physically or sexually abused when she was younger or was her father either emotionally or physically absent from her childhood?
4. Has she been exposed to infidelity as a child, so was she aware of her parents cheating when she was young? A 2015 review found that children who are exposed to a parent having an affair are twice as likely to have an affair themselves.
5. Does she have a mental illness? Some mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder are a risk factor for cheating in marriage
6. This is a big one, has she cheated before on previous partners? There's more to the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" than just an old wives' tale. A 2017 study was the first to evaluate the credibility of this saying. In this study, those who were involved in an extramarital affair were three times more likely to repeat the behaviour in their next relationship.
7. Does she seem to be a sex addict? Yes, this is a strange one and probably a trait that a lot of men would love to have with their partner, but it also greatly increases the likelihood of sexual dissatisfaction within the relationship and hence, increases the likelihood of straying to “get their fix”.
8. Now, this might be a controversial one. Has she had more than 3 sexual partners. Studies show that the more sexual partners a woman has, the more dissatisfied she will be with her current partner and the more problems she will have pair bonding with her current partner.
9. Does she have problems with impulse control? So for example, does she tend to buy things on impulse without really thinking if she really needs it or not.
10. Does she have more formal education than you? Is she the main breadwinner of the house, does she feel like she wears the pants in the relationship, does she earn more than you? These are major factors of the likelihood of cheating.
So now add up all the yesses, remembering that they are each worth 0.1 and deduct that total off the number 1. So, for example, if you’ve answered “Yes” to 3 of the items from the list then your total is 0.3. Then deduct 0.3 from 1, which is 0.7. 0.7 is your figure for variable “R”.
So, let's perform the equation now:
Now as, an example, let's just say you're reasonably happy with your relationship. You have the odd argument, but overall things are going pretty good, so you give yourself a 6 out of 10 for happiness, or “h”.
However, she has begun drinking quite a bit lately, her father was absent from her life as a child due to her father repeatedly cheating on her mother.
So, I would say she has at least 3 of the 10 of the list I provided for you earlier, so that’s 0.3, which I then subtract from 1, which gives you 0.7
So the equation is 6 x 0.7, which gives you a 4.2 as a factor for the likelihood of cheating.
So what does this number mean? Well, as a reference, I would say that anything below a 2.5 and you’ve got a seriously high chance of getting cheated on. Or, at the very least she’s likely to start the process of replacing you.
For example, you could be in a relationship where she’s over the moon with you, she’s love bombing you in typically narcissistic fashion. So you give yourself a 9 out of 10. However, she has a history of cheating and her life is a total disaster and she has 7 of the 10 factors that reduce her resistance on the list. So you end up with a total score of 2.7. Eeek
Alternatively, things might not be great in the home right now, you're fighting a bit, so you give yourself a 4 out of 10 for happiness. However She’s a good girl, and values good communication and came from a healthy functional traditional conservative family, so her resistance score is 0.9. So she scores a 3.6 for cheating likelihood. Not great, but not too bad either.
So, I hope this helps you perhaps quantify a feeling within you that something might not be quite right in your relationship. I do however feel the need to put a caveat on this equation and say that this is obviously not a hard science. If you end up following the steps and
get a very low result, it doesn’t mean she’s definitely cheating on you, it just means the likelihood of her cheating has increased and you probably need to lift your game or at least have a tough conversation with your partner.